Practically speaking, the fifth commandment (to honor parents) is the key to the other nine commandments taking root in a child’s life as well as in society as parents teach their children to them so that they can learn to obey God. In fact, I would argue that the 10 commandments give parents remarkable direction for our role of parenting and even prioritize our job as parents. The commandments provide insight into what our children need to know about God, what they need to wrestle with in their own hearts (and why they need a Savior), and what a life of faith and whole-hearted love for God will look like in order to glorify God and walk in His blessing (see blog post, “More Than a List of Donts”).
None of these commandments will come naturally to our children. But through our consistent training, prayers, and especially God’s grace, it is possible for our children to not only avoid the grave sins represented by the commandments, but to also pursue lives of loving God supremely and loving their neighbor genuinely.
The first four commandments reveal that our very highest priority as parents is discipleship—to teach, lead, train, and model for our kids that the ultimate purpose of life is to love God with their whole heart. The first four commandments stress the need to instill in our kids the supremacy of God, the jealousy of God, the fear of God, and the love of God—all in response to the grace of God (Ex 20:2-11).
The fifth commandment (honor parents) calls for loving discipline that trains our children to live an honorable life of submission, leading to God’s blessing. This is perfectly exemplified in Jesus’s submission to the Father.
The sixth commandment (don’t murder) prioritizes the need to train our children to handle conflict appropriately—to focus on forgiveness and reconciliation through the gospel. For our children to not murder others with their thoughts, words, or actions, they must learn how to bring their anger and offenses to the cross and develop the skills of gospel peacemaking. There are millions of opportunities to work on these attitudes and skills in family life.
The seventh commandment (don’t commit adultery) prioritizes the need to teach our children sexual purity (cf. Prov 7) as well as intentionally training them to live a life of integrity that prepares them for covenant faithfulness and selfless, sacrificial love in marriage.
The eighth commandment (don’t steal) prioritizes the need to teach our children the value and discipline of hard work (2 Thess 3:10; Prov 6:6-11) and generosity as well as learning to pray and trust God to meet their needs (Matt 6:25-34).
The ninth commandment (don’t bear false witness) prioritizes the need to aggressively teach and train our children to speak the truth and live in the truth. Any form of deception should never escape convincing discipline.
The tenth commandment (don’t covet) prioritizes our need to pray for and shepherd our children’s hearts toward contentment in God’s good providence. We must guard them against materialism and greed. Saying “no” to indulgence is saying “yes” to a contented life. We can teach it but if we don’t model it, they will struggle to follow it. May God grant our children the joy of finding their satisfaction and contentment in Christ! In the end, none of our children can live out these commandments without error. They will sin against the Lord, and it is our responsibility to point them to the very God of grace who led His people out of Egypt (Ex 20:2) and the very God who gave His only Son to bear the penalty of their sin to reconcile them to God.